


Dear Theo

by Im_writing_out_of_time, The_starstruck_prince



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 18:50:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_writing_out_of_time/pseuds/Im_writing_out_of_time, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_starstruck_prince/pseuds/The_starstruck_prince
Summary: Theodore Burr and Philip Hamilton have been best friends since birth, basically. Theo struggles with self identity, first believing he's gay, then realizing he's trans- all while dealing with bullies and beatings. Luckily, he's got Philip to kick some ass for him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written by my best friend Adri and I

Ever since either of them could remember, Philip Hamilton and Theodore Burr had been best friends. The two boys grew up together, the Hamiltons and the Burrs were practically one big family. They went through preschool, middle school, and high school together, as well as every summer in between. They were inseparable.

Even though Philip was a year older than Theo, they were in the same grade. This was because Philip started school a year later for the sole reason of being in the same grade as Theo. It was a huge ordeal- Pip had thrown the biggest temper tantrum when Eliza and Alexander tried to reason with him. Finally, they caved and Pip got to start kindergarten with his best friend.

And, for as long as he could remember, Pip had the biggest crush on Theo. He remembered the first time he told Theo they were going to get married- it was during recess in first grade. They had been sitting in the grass, and Pip had picked all the little white daisies in the vicinity, placing them in the other boy’s hands. ‘We’re gonna get married when we’re older, so we can live together and play every day!’ He had said.

Theodore giggled and agreed. ‘We’re gonna live in a treehouse house and no icky girls are gonna be allowed in our treehouse ‘cept our mommies!’ Philip started shaking his head and Theo fell over laughing. ‘Pip, someone hasta bring us cookies!”

As Philip got older, he tried to dismiss those feelings, telling himself over and over that they were just friends, that it was just because they were so close. He would always tell himself that he wasn’t gay- not that being gay was a bad thing. In a world where your soulmate’s name would appear on your skin at 16, love was open and accepted by most. His parents had made it very clear to him that no matter who Philip decided to love, they would accept it.

But he wasn’t gay, he was sure of it. He did all the things that boys do in elementary school; he would pull hair and tease and kick at girls he fancied, because for some reason that’s what you had to do to confess your love to them. He never did that to Theodore.

With Theodore, they would sit in the grass of their beloved Central Park and take the long blades of grass and weave them into crowns, adorned with flowers, and play King and Knight. They would spend the night at each other’s houses and stay up late, telling ghost stories till they were too scared to turn out the light. Pip’s favourite thing was when they would all walk to the park as the sun set, and he and Theo would lay on their backs and look at the stars, touching fingers and talking about what they wanted to do when they grew up.

He was never afraid to tell Theo that he loved him. Pip would do anything for his best friend; when he got in trouble, Pip would take the blame. When he was teased and picked on for being smaller than the other boys, Pip would stand up to them. It just came naturally to him when he was around Theodore- he was always there for him to lean on, and Theo was always there for Philip.

Then elementary school went, and Philip and Theodore found themselves in middle school. Things became clear to Philip as he moved from grade to grade. Things like how it was lame to play pretend, or how you had to boast and brag about the littlest things to gain respect from classmates, or how you couldn’t hold hands with other boys without being sneered at. That part always confused Pip the most. Why was it ridiculed to do something so simple as hold hands? It was okay if you did it with a girl (as long as she didn’t have cooties, of course). Pip would always go back home and ask his dad why the other boys would make fun of him and Theo for being so close. Alexander told him that they just didn’t understand what it was like to be as close to someone else as he and Theo were. Pip wanted to argue that it was impossible to go through school without a best friend, but Philip decided that since his dad was always right before, he had to be right this time, and let it go.

So he did the thing that was most sensible to him- he stopped being so close to Theodore all the time to try and be like the other boys. Of course Theo was still his best friend, but Pip explained to him, ‘Maybe I can show them that it’s not weird to be close to your friends, you know?’ Theo seemed to take that answer reluctantly, letting Pip go be with the other boys.  
Philip couldn’t seem to convey that idea, though. The only thing he got in response was laughter. See, even though there was nothing wrong with being gay, some people still thought it was weird and others argued it was unnatural. Apparently, being gay was a great way to paint yourself into a target for others to make fun of. When Pip caught onto this idea, he went back to Theodore, disgusted with the other boys. ‘They talk about being gay like it’s a bad thing. Love is love, right? Why do people gotta be hatin’ on someone ‘cause of who they love? Boys can like boys and girls can love girls. There ain’t nothing wrong with lovin’ someone.’

Then eighth grade came, and with it came a new boy: George Eacker. Philip took one look at his face and immediately felt repulsed. Something about the way that he carried himself just rubbed Philip the wrong way, and the way that he would throw nasty looks at Theodore made his blood boil. He tried to keep his cool for Theo’s sake, as well as his own, but it was hard.One day, however, Philip snapped. It had been a normal day so far, and the bell had rung for lunch. He made his way to the stairs that Theodore would meet him at everyday, waiting for his friend. Five minutes passed, then ten- where was Theodore? Philip figured he had gotten caught up with a teacher or something, but a knot of anxiety settled at the bottom of his stomach, gnawing at him. 

When fifteen minutes passed, Pip set out to find Theo. He searched the classrooms and bathrooms, turning up empty handed. The realization hit him- The class Theo had before lunch was gym, so he might be in the locker room. Philip raced there, praying that the feeling in his gut was just anxiety, that Theo was perfectly fine. There was no reason to worry, right?

Philip pushed open the heavy wooden door to the boys locker room, calling out, “Theodore?” He gasped when he saw a familiar figure curled up on the floor, shaking. “Theo!” He rushed over, dropping to his knees and touching the other boy’s shoulder. Muffled sobs came from him as he hid his face, trying to push Pip away, choking out protests.

“Theo, Theo, it’s just me, it’s Philip, it’s okay, I’m here,” Pip said quickly, helping Theo to sit up. The younger boy looked up at him, and Philip saw the extent of the damage.  
One of his eyes already bore a dark circle, and blood dripped from his nose in a steady flow. There was a handprint wrapping around his neck, and Philip was sure that if he looked, there would be bruises on his ribcage and legs from where he was hit and kicked.

“Who did it, Theodore, who did this to you?!” Philip cried out, clenching his fists. “Who hurt you?!” Theo only hugged himself and shook his head, crying harder.

“D-don’t do a-a-anything, Pip, I’m f-fine,” he choked out.

“Was it Eacker?” Philip’s voice dropped to a whisper. His voice was low and full of hatred. The way Theo looked away from him told him everything he needed to know.  
The next thing he knew, Philip was walking out of the locker room, Theodore crying out after him to please stop and let it be. Pip walked right outside and grabbed George by the front of his shirt. “How dare you hurt my Theodore??”

Philip wasn’t seeing anything but red and his body took over. He threw Eacker to the floor and jumped on top of him, both fists flying. He could feel someone pulling on his shoulders but he was unstoppable. Something cracked under his hands and he smirked. ‘Bastard deserves every bit of this.’ His fists kept swinging until he was physically thrown against the lockers across the hall.

He spit on the bully, crying on the floor. “That’s right. Cry, you little bastard. That’ll teach you to fight someone smaller than you again. Don’t ever touch Theo again.”  
He felt someone’s hand on the collar of his neck pushing him towards the principal’s office, but nothing was wiping the grin off his face. Theo was being pushed beside him.

“Don’t worry Theo. I got him. I won’t let him hurt you again.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Expelled Philip?”

“Pops I had to! He beat Theo up something bad.” Eliza had gotten the call and tore Alexander away from his work at the office. “I found Theo bleeding on the locker room floor. He told me it was Eacker. What was I supposed to do?”

“Philip, honey,” Eliza’s quiet voice came from the front seat as she turned around. “FIghting isn’t the answer. You should have gotten a teacher.”

“Mom, they wouldn’t have done anything! They never do! So I did it myself. That George Eacker isn’t going to hurt my Theo again,” he mumbled, tossing himself back against the back seat and crossing his arms. “Man Pops, you shoulda been there. I just saw red. I didn’t even know what I was doing until I was being pushed off. I ain’t sorry though. Bastard got what he deserved.”

“Philip, language.”

“Sorry mom. But he did. I felt his jaw just crunch under my hand but I couldn’t stop. He didn’t deserve mercy. I was all just-” Philip began swinging his fists around the car, beating an imaginary George. “I ain’t sorry Pops. He messed with the wrong kid. Theo’s mine. I gotta protect him.”

“I know Philip. You just gotta hold your temper in a bit more.”

“Says the pot to the kettle,” whispered Eliza.

Alexander shot her a look, but there was a joking look to it. Philip could see the love in his parents’ eyes and he laughed. “Wait, you aren’t mad?

“Philip, we wish you would have handled it better, but we couldn’t be more proud that you stood up for your friend.” They pulled into the driveway and walked into the house together. Eliza wrapped her arms around Philip.

“I’m so proud of you for standing up for Theodore, Philip. I’m so proud.” She walked off and left Alexander and Philip in the foyer.

“So he’s going to the hospital with a broken jaw, eh? That’s my boy!” Alexander whisper-yelled. “Atta boy Pip. No one hurts our Theo.” He ruffle Philip’s hair and walked out of the room.

Philip was left alone, standing there. His hand throbbed painfully- he hadn’t noticed it till had had gotten out of the car. He examined it, frowning- his knuckles were busted and his hand looked purplish. He couldn’t get the image of Theo on the floor, bloody and crying, out of his head. He clenched his jaw. ‘Eacker deserved every bit of that beating and more,’ He made his way to his room, thinking about Theo. Where was he now? Was he okay? How was his dad handling this? Philip laid down on his bed, staring at the ceiling, letting his thoughts wash over him.

Theo sat on the edge of the bathtub as his father fussed over him. Aaron was rambling, on the verge of tears as he cleaned up and bandaged Theo’s injuries. The boy was silent, a melancholy expression plastered on his face. When he looked up at his father, Aaron’s tears spilled over the edge. He enveloped his son in a gentle but firm hug, shaking ever so slightly.

“I’m so sorry Theodore… I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you…” His voice broke; Aaron usually put on a cool front, but this was too much. He released his son, standing from the kneeling position he had been in. “Who did this to you Theo? Can you talk to me?” He wiped at his eyes, trying to calm himself down.  
Theo nodded. “Dad, don’t worry about it, okay? Philip took care of him.” He whispered, one of the few things he had said since they’d gotten home. His voice was hoarse, tiny and fragile, enough to make Aaron tear up again.

“Alright. Can I get you anything, or…?”

“I’m fine Dad, I just- I want to lay down for a bit.”

“Okay bud, go rest for a while.” Aaron left the bathroom, and Theo got up shakily, looking at himself in the mirror. He gingerly ran his fingers over the dark bruise ringed around his eye, before tilting his head to examine the fingerprints wrapped around his neck. Tears sprang to his eyes, but he blinked them away.

He took a deep breath, before padding to his room and kicking off his shoes. He crawled into his bed, exhausted. His whole body ached, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep with Philip’s fingers tangled in his hair while he talked softly about anything, the sound of his voice lulling Theo.

The thought only comforted him for a moment, because then he remembered being slammed against the wall in the locker room, George looming above him with a twisted grin as his peers snarled slurs at him.

Theo wrapped his arms around himself, curling into a ball as silent sobs racked his body, trying to chase away the vivid memory with anything else, any other thought that could banish the laughter ringing in his ears.

Philip was sitting in his room, his hand throbbing, his mind stuck on Theo. He threw his legs over the edge of his bed and his feet slapping the carpet down the hallway to his father’s office. “Dad?”

Alexander barely looked up from his work. “What, buddy?” His glasses were on the edge of his nose.

“Can we go see Theo? I wanna make sure he’s okay.”

Alexander set down his papers and put his glasses in the top drawer of his desk. “I was wondering how long it would take you to ask. Come on. We’ll ask your mother if she thinks you should go.” He bent over. “I’ll fight for you to see him if she says no, but I don’t think she will.”

The pair walked down the stairs and Philip walked into the kitchen, Alexander staying behind the doorway. “Mom? Can dad bring me to go see Theo? I gotta make sure he’s okay.”

“Of course, Philip. Alexander, I know you’re behind the door.” She never looked up from the vegetables she was cutting. How did she know….? “Make sure you guys will be home before supper. It’ll be a few hours yet, though, so get going.”

Philip practically ran to the car, jumping in the passenger seat. Alexander drove the speed limit but it wasn’t fast enough for Philip. He was getting antsy in his seat. Finally, they pulled up outside Theo’s house and Philip barged in, tossing the door aside.

“Where’s Theo,” he asked Aaron, who nodded him towards the stairs. Philip bolted and pushed his way into Theo’s room. “Theo? You okay?”

Theo was laying on his bed, his back to the door. “I’m fine Pip. You didn’t have to come check on me.”

Philip stood back, slightly hurt. “Yes I did. I love you, Theo. Of course I would come check up on you.”

Theo scooted closer to the wall. “You can lay down.”

Pip laid down beside Theo, causing Theo to turn over, squishing Philip’s hand. Philip whined slightly and Theo jumped off his hand.

“Pip. Your hand.”

“My hand is fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m here to check on you.”

“Pip, that looks broken.”

“Nah, it’s just bruised.” Theo scoffed quietly at this, but laid back down on the bed and curled into Philip’s side. “Theo, I’m kinda tired.”

“Me too. We can take a nap if you wanna.” Theo looked over to Philip who was already sleeping and he smiled. Reaching down, he pulled the blanket over the pair of them and kissed Philip’s forehead. “I love you too Pip. More than you’ll ever know.”


	3. Chapter 3

“I don’t know about you, but I have a strange urge to fight someone.”

“Alexander, you always want to fight someone, whether it be verbally or with your fists. But I have to agree with you. I don’t find it fair that our boys get expelled, especially Theo, where the original instigator is getting off scot-free. Have you seen Theodore?”

“No I haven’t. Is it bad?”

“It’s pretty bad,” Aaron said, his voice quiet, thick with emotion. “Follow me.” Aaron walked up the stairway, Alexander close on his heels. The carpet upstairs kept their footsteps quiet as they stopped in front of the bedroom. Everything was silent, but that wasn’t uncommon for the two boys. They would often lay there and stare at the ceiling. Aaron brought his hand to the door and rapped his knuckles against it lightly.

When no answer came through the door, worry bubbled between the two fathers, and they pushed their way in the room, sighing in relief when they saw the two boys lying on the bed. Theo was laying next to the wall, his face pressed into Philip’s chest, the bruise on his eye dark against his skin. Philip’s arms were wrapped around his friend protectively.

Theo’s shirt was on the bed beside the boys; he had probably ripped it off in his sleep. There were shoe prints visible on his chest, the handprint even more noticeable ringing his neck. There were parallel cuts running along his side; he had been whipped with the buckle end of a belt, the parallel swipes ending with a dark indentation of a buckle wrapping around his ribs. The cuts had scabbed over, the edges still a fiery red.

Philip’s chin was resting against the crown of Theo’s head. His lips were pursed and they moved with every breath he took. Even sleeping, he looked angry as he held Theo close, protecting him.

Alexander’s eyes darkened as he looked over Theo, clenching his fists. He grabbed Aaron by the arm, quickly leaving without a sound. As he made his way downstairs, he released the other man, grabbing his keys.

“Alexander, what are you-”

“I’m going up to the school. This is unacceptable. I didn’t know it was so bad…” His voice was dangerously soft.

Aaron frowned briefly. “We can’t just leave Philip and Theodore by themselves,” He said, implying that if Alexander was going to raise hell at the school, he was coming along.

“They won’t be by themselves, Theodosia-” Alexander had an undertone of pleading to his words.

“Alexander” Aaron’s voice hardened, cold for a moment. “You know she’s practically bed-bound, she can’t watch them.”

Alexander looked away shamefully. “You’re right, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just… It’s not fair, and I’m determined to bring our boys justice.” 

Aaron nodded, placing his hand on Alexander’s shoulder. After a moment of silence, he spoke again.

“They are just sleeping, though… If we can get this resolved quickly, then I suppose I could tell Theodosia that we need to go run a few errands…” He said. The taller of the two dropped his hand, leaving the kitchen, leaving Alexander fiddling with his keys for a few minutes. When Aaron returned, he quickly ushered Alexander out of the door.  
“Come on, the faster we get this done, we can get back home, and I won’t have to worry as much,” He said. Alexander quickly got into his car, starting it. They took off for the school, silent on the way there, each father caught up in his own thoughts about his child.

Alexander ripped into the school parking lot, just in time to see the principal walking towards his car. He jumped out and shut the principal’s door just as soon as he had opened it. “In the school, now.”

The principal reeled back in surprise. “Mr. Hamilton, this is highly inappropriate. I must ask you to step away from my car and let me go home. It’s after six o’clock and I have to get home to watch my children.”

Alexander wouldn’t budge. “Your children are fifteen and nineteen, they can take care of themselves. Aaron and I, however, have two thirteen-year-olds back at his house, one of them with bruises covering his entire body. Now we’re going to go inside, now, or Aaron and I will have no problem bringing this to the police. In fact, we plan on it anyway, but I would hate to have to mention that your school has let a child, who attempted to kill another, off with no consequences while the victim and his friend- who was trying to fight for him- to save him from the injustices and inadequacies of the school administration and their bullshit policies. Now what would you rather? Let your teenage children handle themselves, or would you rather lose your job?”

The principal looked at them and could see the fury and seriousness in both their faces. “Let’s go inside then.”

Theo slipped out of Pip’s arms and walked down the stairs. The house was insanely quiet, an odd thing when the pair’s fathers were together. The house was quiet and the older men were nowhere to be seen. Theo peeked around the curtains at the driveway and saw Alexander’s car missing from the driveway. They must have gone somewhere together.

He slipped into the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge for something to eat. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and even then it wasn’t anything more than an egg sandwich and some orange juice. Finding nothing, he closed the fridge and instead grabbed a glass of water to drink. He wasn’t all that hungry anyway.

He turned around with his glass of water and yelped in surprise as he saw his mother standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Her face was pale as usual and her faded pink robe was wrapped around her body. Her eyes raked over his body, lingering on each and every bruise that adorned her son’s skin. He had naturally pale skin, lighter than his parents, and every bruise showed up stark against his skin.

“Theo, what happened to you baby?”

“Momma, don’t worry about me. I’m okay.”

Theodosia hobbled over, using the wall and table to support her frail body. Her hand traced the ring around his eye, trailing down to lift his chin and look at the handprint wrapping around his throat. “Who did this to you Theo? Why did he do it do you?”

“Who said it was a he?”

Theodosia slid into a chair, her body too weak to hold herself any longer. “Look at the size of those shoe prints on your body, baby. Look at the handprint around your throat. You’re telling me that’s not a boy?”

“No,” he said, casting his eyes down to the glass in his hands. “It was a boy, ma'am.”

“Why did he do it to you Theo?”

Theoset the glass down on the table slowly,still looking at the floor. “I don’t know, momma.” He whispered. She opened her arms, motioning for him to go to her. Theo climbed into her lap- trying to be as careful as possible, he was getting much too big for it, and his mom was already in a weak enough state. Nevertheless, she let him lean on her chest as he began crying.

“He’s had it out for me since he moved here. He hates me, and I don’t know why.” Theodosia’s hand stroked his hair as he cried. “It hurts so much mommy.”

“I know baby. I know.” She kissed his head. “Where’s your daddy?”

“I don’t know. He and Uncle Alex went somewhere together.”

“Probably off to go fight someone. You know how they are. Alexander fights and your daddy calms him down.”

 

The dark-skinned man was raging. “What do you mean there’s nothing you can do to him?! Do you want to go see my son? He has shoe prints on his goddamned chest and you’re telling me there’s no proof?! He has a black eye, a purple handprint ringing around his throat, every finger perfectly formed on his neck and you’re trying to feed me this bullshit about there not being proof?” Aaron was on one side of the desk in the principal’s office, the principal sitting on the other side, cowering from the usually quiet man.

“Mr. Burr-” Every meeting he had with the two men was always the other way around; Alexander would yell and argue and Aaron would calm him down. Only this time, Aaron was yelling and Alexander made no move to stop him.

“Don’t you dare ‘Mr. Burr’ me. My son was rasping for breath at home because his throat is swollen and your school couldn’t be bothered to do anything other than expel my son- my son, the victim- and the only person who dared to help him. My son was whipped with a belt, stomped and punched, and he’s the one being expelled? What’s that little shit Eacker’s punishment, huh?”

“Well, Mr. Burr, Philip Hamilton broke his jaw.”

“Fucking right he did!” cheered Alexander from against the wall.

“So what? Once he gets back from the hospital, he gets to go and do the same to another kid? Just because he’s a little different? I know Theo’s not the stereotypical middle school boy, and that he’s close to Philip, but is that any reason for him to get beat? My son could have broken ribs, internal bleeding, and any number of problems because a certain little fuck thinks he’s different and finds that threatening. So you better expel him too, to so help me god, I will sue the Eacker family, the school, and you personally for everything and anything I can. Alexander and I are the top two lawyers in New York and I have no problem using every ounce of my political and lawful power to make sure every party involved gets the harshest punishment possible. So what’s it gonna be?” Aaron challenged, breathing heavily.

Alexander couldn’t hide the pleasure he got from seeing Aaron be the assertive one. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, smirking. He was more than willing to do anything he could to get justice for Theo, but for now it was Aaron’s turn to be the furious one.

When the only response Aaron got was the principal gaping up at him, he opened his mouth again.

“I promise you, Philip will not get any punishment from the state for sticking up for his friend. No jury will convict him. So what’s it gonna be? Is Eacker expelled, or will I have to sue everyone involved?”

The principal fiddled with his tie, loosening it from his neck. Sweat was beading on his forehead and anyone could tell he was getting nervous. “I will un-expel Theo and Philip and expel Mr. Eacker. You’ve made a few things clear to me. Are we finished here, Mr. Burr, Mr. Hamilton?”

“Not until you check the video footage and make the phone call to the Eacker family announcing the news. I want a copy of the footage you get from the locker room, front entrance, and everything to the fight with Eacker. All of it. And it will be submitted to court for evidence.”

The principal nodded and pulled up the security cameras. There were cameras in every hallway, and even some in the locker room, turned away from the changing areas, but Aaron could see his son balled on the floor, just inside the camera focus. They had gotten lucky on one thing, it seemed.

The three men watched as Theo began walking toward the door, a smile on his face and a bounce in his step. The tape continued as George Eacker ran up behind Theo and grabbed him, pinning him to the wall with a hand around his neck, punching him in the face with the other. The hand around his neck slipped away and Theo dropped to the floor, hitting his head against the lower part of the wall on the way down. Theo wasn’t on the floor for five seconds before George was stomping on him, his leg coming up and down with great force. George took his time with Theo, pulling his pants down and grabbing him as he laid on the floor crying. “Do you like this, you little faggot? I bet that fucker Hamilton grabs you like this too, doesn’t he? And I bet you like it.”

Aaron’s eyes were filled with tears. “He assaulted my Theo and then molested him.” His body was shaking and Alexander put a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. “That rat bastard molested my boy.”

The video continued, George finally releasing Theo’s crotch and spitting on him before laughing as he walked out of the locker room. Theo pulled up his pants and tried to stand, but he fell back to the floor, throwing up. Not thirty seconds after Eacker left did Philip come bursting through the door. “Theodore? Theo!”

The small boy wrestled with his friend, pushing him away before giving up and slipping back to the floor. Philip was questioning his friend, trying to find the culprit, and the next thing on the screen was Philip dashing out to the hallway, Theo struggling to stand behind him. An angry voice fumed from the hallway, “How dare you hurt my Theodore?”

The principal paused the video and looked at the angry fathers behind him. “I’ll get you a copy of this video and Philip’s altercation with Mr. Eacker for court records. I’m so sorry for everything, Mr. Burr, Mr. Hamilton. Both of your sons are welcome back at this school. I hope to see them on Monday.” He was visibly shaken by what he watched on the screen and he looked like he was about to be sick.

“Damn right you’ll give me the tapes. And forget what I said about not suing if you expelled Eacker. After seeing that, you’re lucky I don’t break your jaw too. And you can fucking forget about ever seeing either one of our sons in this school again. Fuck you, and fuck this school system. We’ll be going elsewhere,” Aaron stated, fuming out of the room.

Alexander walked out of the room behind his friend before peeking his head back in. “I hope you’re fucking ashamed of what you allowed to happen in this school, and you better hope to God that the court system takes it easy on you. Now go fuck yourself.”

Alexander made his way outside to find Aaron punching the concrete wall of the school building. “Aaron, Aaron stop. We have to go get Theodore to the hospital.”

“He hurt my boy,” Aaron whispered, falling to his knees. “He hurt my boy.”


	4. Chapter 4

The car ride back from the hospital was quiet. In the backseat, Theodore and Philip were leaning against each other, asleep. In the front, Aaron and Alexander were conversing quietly, so as not to wake the boys.

Alexander drove them back to his house, nervously pushing open the door. It was late; after the nurses had seen the shape Theo’s body was in, the police were called in to take their own photos for evidence. Statements were taken and Theo hadn’t stopped crying the entire time.

Immediately, they were greeted by a frantic Eliza. She pushed past Alexander to see Theo, gasping. She knelt down, embracing him. “Oh, Theodore, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe…” She tried to keep her voice down, just having put all the other children to bed. She hadn’t stopped hugging Theodore, but when Eliza looked up and saw the cast on Philip’s arm, she released the younger boy immediately. “Philip, what happened?!” Philip shrugged. “I broke my hand when I hit George, and when Theo went to the hospital they put me in a cast.” He said nonchalantly, as if it were no big deal.

“Eliza, darling,” Alexander touched her shoulder- she was still gaping at how calm everyone else was acting. She stood up, turning to her husband stiffly. “Aaron and I will be in my study, we need to start sorting this situation out.” He kissed her cheek briefly, before leaving. Aaron nodded to Eliza, following the other out.

“Well… Goodness, I’m just so glad all my boys are home safe,” she said, turning back to the two children. “C’mon, I doubt you two have eaten yet. There’s still leftovers from dinner I could heat up, or–”

“Mom. Thank you, that would be really great.” Philip said. His undamaged hand barely brushed against Theo’s, moving to intertwine their fingers. Eliza stopped and then nodded slowly, turning and heading to the kitchen. The two boys followed quietly, watching as Eliza readied their plates, mashed potatoes, cooked carrots and a pork roast soon set in front of them. “Mom, can we go eat in the living room?”

“Of course baby.” She kissed each of the boys on the forehead and watched them walk into the living room and curl up on the couch. Eliza watched as both boys pushed the food around on their plates- it seemed that even after the day’s events, neither had the stomach to eat. “I’m not letting you two sleep until you finish the food on your plates,” she called from the kitchen. The boys finally started to eat their food as they clicked on the television.

Their plates clattered together as they stacked them and Philip brought them back out to the kitchen. “Thanks mom,” he said, wrapping his arms around her in a hug, making sure to be careful of his injured hand. “It was good. We definitely needed to eat.” He kissed her cheek and disappeared back into the dark living room, illuminated only by the light from the television.

Theo’s eyes were half closed, watching Philip as he walked in. Philip sat down on the couch and pulled Theo in his arms, the blanket Theo had on his lap being tossed over the both of them. Theo cuddled into Philip, his eyes drooping closed gradually. “I love you Pip.”

Philip leaned down and kissed the top of Theo’s head. “I love you too Theo.” The boys laid down on the couch, Theo in Pip’s arms. The television was on one of their favorite movies, but neither of the boys could keep their eyes open. Dealing with the hospital and police had sapped all of their energy from them.

They slept for a few hours before Theo woke up, crying out. Philip was awake immediately, shushing Theo to calm him down. Alexander and Aaron burst into the living room door minutes later. Theo was a sobbing mess, words stuttering from his mouth, making little sense. Philip held him close as sobs racked his body; Aaron watched tearfully from the doorway, knowing how he would never be able to help Theo, never be able to help him as much as Philip did.

Aaron walked to Theo and wrapped his arms around him, Theo burying his face in his father’s shoulder. “Daddy, I can’t go to school there anymore,” he sobbed. “I can’t do it.”

Aaron pulled Theo into him as much as he could without hurting him. “You won’t have to, baby. You’ll never have to go back to that school ever again. We’ll look for a new school over summer break, okay? And Eliza said she’ll homeschool you two. There’s only two weeks left of school. You’ll go somewhere else to take your state exams and you’ll never have to go back to that school, I promise. But you might have to see him in court as a witness. I can’t promise you that you’ll never see him again. I wish I could. I really wish I could. I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe. I love you so much Theo.”

“I love you too, daddy.” Theo brushed at the tears on his face. “I don’t ever have to go to that school again?”

“Neither one of you will. I promise.”

Theo nodded his head and fell back against the couch, glancing at the tv. “Why are you still here at three am?”

Alexander stepped forward. “We’ve been setting up our court case. We don’t know how much time he’ll get because he’s fourteen, but we’re going for the maximum time he can get. We won’t let him hurt you again, Theo. None of us. Not me, or your father, and definitely not Philip. Will you Pip?”

Pip shook his head. “I’d break my hand on his jaw again if it meant I could keep you safe.”

 

The boys were laying in the tall grass, the summer sun beaming down on them. Tomorrow, they were going to their new school. They were gonna be the new kids, and   
Theo was terrified. “Don’t worry Theo. I’ll hurt anyone who looks at you crossways. You know that.”

“I wish you wouldn’t get in so many fights, Pip. I’m not worth it.”

Pip rolled onto his stomach, his face dangerously close to Theo’s. Theo could feel his heart stuttering as Philip got closer. Philip’s breath fanned across his face and he wanted nothing more than to kiss him. He always wanted to kiss him. He wanted to be so much more than friends with Philip. He knew they were destined to be soulmates.   
Did Pip feel it too?

“My job in life is to keep you safe. And if you can’t handle that, then tough noogies. Because I’m never gonna stop.” He laid back in the grass.

Theo could finally take a deep breath. “What about when we get our soulmates?”

“I’m still always gonna protect you Theo. I love you. And if my soulmate can’t handle that, then they’re just gonna have to deal with tough noogies. Because you’re my best friend. And I love you.”

“I love you too,” Theo whispered. He wanted Philip to love him in the same way he loved Philip. But soulmates were predestined by fate. There was no saying Theo and Pip would even end up being soulmates. Fate could be cruel like that.

The two laid in a comfortable silence for a while, before Philip sighed. “So… tomorrow? I’ll be with you as much as I can, our schedules should be matched pretty well.” He promised. Philip wanted to make Theodore as comfortable as possible at the new school.

“I’ll be fine Pip, you don’t gotta baby me. I mean I’m nervous, but I can handle myself.” Theo scoffed, but secretly he was happy that Philip was worried for him.

Besides, being the new kids wasn’t the only reason Theo was nervous. Deep down, he was jealous- he was jealous that Pip would have to branch out and make new friends, and leave him behind. He was scared that Philip would meet a girl and forget him. He was terrified that Pip wouldn’t reciprocate his complicated romantic feelings for him. Of course, Philip couldn’t know that. Theo couldn’t tell him either, because if he did, Philip would shut out everyone else but Theo, and it would just a mess.

“I know, but still.” Philip looked over, flashing a toothy grin. Theo couldn’t help but let on the smile that tugged at his lips, and the way Pip smiled at him made his heart twist in his chest. A light blush dusted across his features, and for a moment the emotion was too much to handle.

“Philip…” He whispered, not daring to speak any louder.

Philip stared at Theo, his dark eyes shining, the sun reflecting from his curls. “I’ll always be there for you. I love you.”

Tears sprang to Theo’s eyes. “I love you too.”

Philip was immediately closer to Theo, trying to follow the sudden mood change. “Theo, what’s wrong? Please talk to me.”

Theo shook his head and pawed at the dampness on his face. “Nothing. I’m just being dumb. Don’t worry about me.” He pulled at the short hair on his head. “Do you think I would look good with long hair?”

“I think you’re changing the subject but I think you’d look good no matter what,” Philip said, turning his head so Theo couldn’t see him blushing. “You should grow it out. It’ll be soft, with those waves like your mom.”

Unbeknownst to Theo, Philip had similar fears. He and Theodore were getting older, and with the prospect of new friends or significant others, he was scared that he would lose his best friend. He dreaded the day that Theo turned 16; Philip knew that Theo’s name would tattoo itself into his skin, but what if Theo didn’t have his? Philip tried to tuck that horrible thought away, instead focusing on the time he and Theo still had with each other, without the threat of anyone else breaking their bond.

Theo opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Pip’s phone buzzing. Philip dug it out of his pocket, answering.

“Hey mom, what’s up?” He answered, a bit annoyed that he and Theo’s time was being cut short. After a few moments, he sighed. “Yeah, I’ll be right there. Love you too– Wait, can I walk Theo home? Okay, yes ma’am– okay– Mom! I love you, bye.” He hung up, flopping back down with a sigh. “M’ mom said that I have to head home, she wants to make sure I have my uniform and all my supplies ready.”

Theo’s mood dampened a bit. “Oh. Alright.” He mumbled, trying to hide his disappointment. Pip caught it and reached out, touching his cheek. “Hey, look at me.” Theo complied, meeting the other’s gaze. He loved how the sun danced on his freckles, and the only word he could think was beautiful.

“I still have a whole ten more minutes with you since I’m walking you home, don’t look so sad.” Philip smiled again- that infectious grin that made Theo’s chest tighten- and Theo moved to slip his hand over Philip’s. His right hand had been a little crooked since it had healed when he had broken it, but Theo didn’t mind.

“I don’t this moment to ever end.” He said softly, not daring to break eye contact.

“Me either.”


	5. Chapter 5

Theo loved his new school. There were new memories to make. The administration was sure that Philip was allowed to go with him anywhere. They had all their classes together, and they were never apart. And Theo wouldn’t have it any other way.

As the school year progressed, Theo had told Philip to go make new friends. “I don’t need anyone but you, Theo.” Philip insisted. “Philip, please,” Theodore furrowed his eyebrows in frustration at Philip’s refusal to cooperate with him. “Just do it for me?”

He couldn’t deny that it hurt to be pushing Pip away like this, but he was concerned that his best friend didn’t really have any other friends. Theo was the same way, but he dismissed the case- he and Pip seemed to be polar opposites. Theo was scrawny, quiet, and kept to himself; Philip had a big personality, and it was kind of unnerving that he didn’t hang out with anyone else. Of course, it scared Theo to be letting go of Philip like this, but he knew that his best friend wouldn’t abandon him… right?

Theo watched as Philip mingled with the other boys, often finding himself in the art room. He had taken up drawing as a way to pass his time, and he didn’t mind the practice that he was getting during his time alone.

But it was weird, not having Philip by his side. It was like he was navigating his way through a dream he kept having; everything about his school routine was familiar, but everything just seemed a little off. They still spent a lot of time together outside of school, but Theo didn’t like the gaping hole that it left in his chest. Even more so, Theo felt like he was alone. Sure, he and Philip still hung out, but it just didn’t feel the same. He knew he was being selfish, but he couldn’t help that he missed his best friend.  
His face was buried in an easel in the art room. He had found that he had a natural knack for painting, and he loved it. He painted a girl. She was short, with brown eyes and long curly hair. She was smiling. She loved her life.

The door opened and Theo grabbed his drying canvas and ran it to the back room, placing it on his growing stack of paintings already under a desk in the small closet.  
“Theo?” Philip’s distinct, familiar voice rang out through the room as he walked in. He seemed slightly out of breath. “There you are. I looked everywhere else and couldn’t find you. Are you okay?” he pushed his curls away from his face, trying to hide any of the worry that might still be visible in his expression with an unusually terse smile. It was slight, but Theo noticed. When he couldn’t find Theo, his mind had reverted back to that day in eighth grade, and he had panicked; the relief that washed over him when he realized Theo was unharmed was indescribable.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Why?”

Philip wrapped his arms around Theo, his chin resting on Theo’s head. “I’ve missed you all week. Those guys? They tried to bring me into their little group, but it never felt right. I couldn’t figure it out until I realized it’s because I didn’t have you. I didn’t have my best friend to have meaningful conversations with. All they wanted to talk about was girls; all I wanted to think about was my best friend.”

Theo felt himself tear up at Pip’s words, hugging him back tightly. “I missed you too, Pip,” He murmured, hiding his face in Philip’s shoulder. “I missed you so much.”  
Philip chuckled softly, pulling away from the hug for a moment. “Hey, what’re you crying for?” He asked with a hint of a smile. He cupped Theo’s chin, using his other hand to wipe away the other’s tears.

“Nothing, I just- I’m really… I’m glad you’re back.” Theo looked up at Philip, feeling a blush creeping up his face. It was in brief moments like this, when Philip did something so simple as touch him and speak softly, that Theo wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

He leaned in slightly just as Philip pulled back. “You wanna go play some dodgeball with the guys?”

“Uh, no thanks Pip. I’m good. You go.”

Philip shook his head. “Nope, I’m here to be with my best friend and do what he wants. So what does he want?”

Theo glanced over to where his paintings were. “Um… I dunno, I kinda just want to stay here, actually. It’s fine, you can go ahead, really.” He offered a pathetic smile that didn’t seem to fool Philip.

“Can I draw with you?”

Theo blushed. “Uh yeah. Sure. I’m gonna paint you though. So be warned.”

“Ooh,” Philip exclaimed, bouncing up and down. “Make me really sexy. Like, super jacked, with muscles and abs and everything.”

Theo giggled, grabbing a clean canvas from the cupboard. “How ‘bout I don’t and you can just imagine yourself like that, hmm?”

Philip feigned offense. “How could you, crushing my ego like that?” He sniffled, before grinning and laughing. He found some paper and a pencil, sitting down.

After a few moments of staring at the blank paper, he looked over at Theo. “I dunno what to draw.”

“Draw something you love.”

Philip smiled and looked down at his paper. “Yeah. Yeah I’ll do that.”

Something seemed to click in the art room. As the two sat quietly, each occupied in his own thoughts, it felt like before; they didn’t have to talk, they could just be comfortable in their silence. It was as if nothing had changed; it brought a smile to Philip’s face. He had missed this. Freshman year wasn’t starting out too bad.

 

Theo walked in his house. He had been in school for two months and he was actually enjoying it. He tossed his book bag in an empty chair and looked around. He walked through different rooms, looking for everyone, anyone. Even his mother was gone.

He pulled the phone off its hook on the wall and called his dad. The phone rang, and Aaron picked up just before the phone sent him to voicemail. “Daddy! Where are you guys?”

“We’re at the hospital buddy. Your mom’s finally leaving us. It’s her time.” His voice was shaking but they all knew this was coming. “Do you want to be here with us?”

Theo broke down. Just because they knew it was coming didn’t make it hurt any less. He sank to the floor. “I want my momma!” He sobbed. “I don’t want her to go daddy. I want my momma.”

“Uncle Alex is going to bring you to the hospital okay? He’ll be there any minute.”

Theo wiped at the tears streaming down his face with his sleeve. “Okay, daddy. I’ll be ready.” He looked out the window and saw a car in the driveway. “He’s here.”  
“I’ll see you soon, okay buddy?”

“Okay daddy. See you soon.” He turned off the phone, hanging it back up on the jack. He grabbed a light jacket and walked out the door, jumping into Alexander’s car. It was just Alexander and Theo couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

“Hi Uncle Alex,” he whispered, tears trailing down his cheeks.

“Hey buddy. How’re ya holding up?”

Theo’s bottom lip quivered. “I want my momma.”

Alexander placed his hand on top of Theo’s. His grip felt a lot like Philip’s and Theo found it comforting. “I know buddy. We all do. But she’s not gonna make it this time Theo. The cancer has gone too far this time. She’s in a coma and they’re already revived her once. And that was only because she wanted you to be able to say goodbye to her.”

They pulled into the hospital and Theo stayed in his seat while Alexander jumped out. Alexander looked at this young boy in his car, the little boy that grew up with his son, and saw a young man. He walked around the car and opened Theo’s door, holding him as he cried. “I want my momma back,” he sobbed.

Alexander pulled him into his chest, his hand holding the back of Theo’s head close to him. “I know Theo. I wish there was something we could do to help her.” He helped Theo out of the car and they walked into the hospital, completely bypassing reception. “She’s in this room.” They rounded a corner and Theo saw his dad, bent over the bed, holding his mother’s lifeless hand.

Theo ran in the room and grabbed his mother’s other hand. “Momma, you can’t leave me. There’s so much I want you to know, so much I want to tell you. Please, momma.”

Theo’s pathetic pleas fell on deaf ears. His entire world seemed to have collapsed; he clung to his mother’s hand as he bowed his head, not bothering to try and stop the tears that just kept coming.

“Momma..” He let out a broken whimper, burying his face in the hospital blanket. Alexander looked on from the doorway, face painted with grief. He crossed the room to Aaron, setting a hand on his friend’s shoulder- he had no words, the action being his only way to convey sympathy.

Theo felt his heart seizing up in his chest. He needed to leave, he couldn’t stand it anymore, the room felt suffocating. He rose to his feet, choking back a sob as he bolted from the hospital room, down the winding hallway. He didn’t hear Aaron or Alexander calling after him; all he wanted was to bury himself in Philip’s arms and disappear for a while.

The fall air was bitingly cold on his tear-stained face as he ran outside. He had a vague idea of where he was at, so mindlessly he let his legs take him where he thought he needed to go. He didn’t think, he couldn’t banish the impossible weight bearing down on his shoulders.

He turned a corner, his sneakers pounding against the pavement. His heart felt like it would rip out of his chest but he didn’t slow down until he pushed through the front door of the Hamilton’s house. “Where’s Pip? I need Pip,” he cried to Eliza.

“He’s in his room baby, come here.” She opened her arms and Theo ran into them. “I’m so, so sorry Theo.”

“I want my momma,” Theo whispered against her ear. His growth spurt had brought him to her height and, though it wasn’t overly tall, it was tall for him.  
“I know baby.” Her hands pulled him close, and she kissed his cheek. “Philip’s in his room.”

He shook his head. “Just hold me please. I guess I need a mommy more than I need Pip right now.”

“I’ll always be here for you Theo. We all are.”

“Can I tell you something? I haven’t told anyone else, but….”

“You can always tell me anything Theo, you know that.

Theo took a deep breath, suddenly a bit light headed. He hesitated, frowning, trying to find the right words.

“I don’t… I’m not really sure yet, but I’ve felt… different? For a long time now…” He started nervously.

Eliza listened intently, patiently waiting for him to finish.

“I think I’m transgender.” Theo just dropped it, figuring the way to tell her would be better if he just said it. “Like, you know?’ He stumbled a bit over his words.

“Oh, baby,” Eliza said, pulling Theo into another tight hug. “Is that all? I was so worried you were going to tell me that you had done something terrible.” She offered a small smile. Theo looked up at her.

“W-wait, you… like, know what I’m talking about?”

“Well, I don’t know extensively, but I think I understand the concept,” Eliza said, brushing a stray tear from Theo’s face. “Do you want me to call you by another name, or are you not ready yet? It’s okay if you’re not totally comfortable yet,” She smiled. It was obvious that she was a little confused, but the out-pouring of love and acceptance that was coming from her was enough to make up for it.

Theo looked down. “I… I don’t think I’m ready for everyone else to know yet, but I think… I think I want to take my mother’s name.” She whispered, unsure of how to handle the situation now that Eliza knew.

“Theodosia?” Eliza said, her eyes brimming with tears. “You’re such a beautiful young woman,” She cupped Theo’s face, kissing her forehead. “We can go shopping soon, get you some new clothes.”

Theo looked at Eliza, tears in her eyes. “That feels so much better than Theodore.” She threw her arms around Eliza, her head resting on Eliza’s shoulder. “Can you still use just Theo and male pronouns in front of Pip? I’m not ready for him to know yet,” she whispered.

“Of course baby girl. I won’t tell anyone until you’re ready for them to know. I promise,” she said, smiling and holding out her pinky.

Theo laughed, eyes rimmed red from crying, nose all snotty and gross, and wrapped her pinky with Eliza’s. “Thank you.”

“Of course, Theo. I love you.” She kissed Theo’s forehead. “Go on up and bother Philip.”

“I love you too. And… Aunt ‘Liza?”

“What baby?”

“You’ve always been just like another mom to me,” she said, running up the stairs, leaving Eliza in the kitchen, heart singing.

“That’s all I could ever ask for,” Eliza whispered, smiling, before she turned back to finish washing dishes.


	6. Chapter 6

A month later and everyone knew- everyone but Philip. Christmas was fast approaching and Theo’s nerves were shot. What if somebody let it slip? “C’mon Pip, I wanna run to the art room and grab my paintings,” Theo said, grabbing Philip’s hand and dragging him along.

“Theo, they’ll be here after Christmas break, we’re gonna miss–”

“Oh, shut up. Besides, how many times have you had to go back to dig something out of your locker and we had to walk home?” Theo shot back, a hint of a smile tinting her voice. Philip rolled his eyes.

“Alright, whatever, but please hurry.” He said, smiling. As Theo bustled into the art room, Philip leaned against the doorframe watching her. Even now, he couldn’t deny how completely enamoured he was with how Theo could just be. It was like she existed in her own world half the time, subconsciously going throughout her routine while caught up in her own mind.

Just thinking about her brought a smile to Philip’s face. However, a thought kept oozing into the back of his mind, no matter how hard he tried to wipe it out. Recently, Theo had been acting more… he wasn’t even sure how to describe it. She wasn’t being closed-off, but there was definitely a secret being kept. Pip didn’t press for details; he knew his best friend would tell him if she was ready for him to know.

“Philip?” Theo had reappeared in the door, scaring Philip. Had he been so caught up in his thoughts? He jumped back, startled.

“Jesus, Theo, don’t scare me like that.” He sighed, clutching his chest. Theo let out a small laugh- that by itself was enough to bring a rose tint to Pip’s face.

“Let’s go, we might still be able to catch the bus if we run.” Theo said, making sure the paintings were safely tucked under her arm.

“Nah,” Philip grinned, ear to ear. “Let’s walk. I wanna spend more time together without having to suffer on a hot, crowded bus.” He said.

Theo’s smile brightened immediately, and she playfully punched Philip in the arm. “Fine, but you’re carrying my backpack.” She shrugged it off, and Philip accepted it.

“I’m so ready for the break.” Theo sighed.

“Me too.”

 

One day into the break, they were both lounged up in Philip’s bed, Theo drawing and Philip napping.

“Pip? You awake?” Theo asked softly, so as not to wake him if he was asleep. Philip hummed drowsily, signalling that he was almost sleep, but not quite.

Theo looked at him for a second, studied the way that he would always sleep with a bit of a smile when she was with him; she let her eyes wander across the constellations of freckles that adorned the bridge of his nose, watched as they spread out to the rest of the skin on his face- Philip Hamilton was art, and she loved him. Theo’s eyes returned to the sketchbook on her lap. She had mimicked Philip’s sleeping form onto the paper, but it could never sum up to the real deal.

“Didja have somethin’ t’ ask me?” Philip slurred drowsily, attempting to blink the sleep from his eyes. After a moment of silence, Theo shook her head. “No… No, It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” She dismissed quickly. This caught his attention, dragging the older of the two into an upright position.

“No, tell me. What’s up?” Pip leaned forward a little. Theo shied away, flipping the sketchbook closed. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ll tell you later.” She insisted.

Philip frowned, biting the inside of his lip. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Theo nodded. “Yeah, I know, I’m just… you know, It’s not important, I promise I’ll tell you later, just go back to sleep.” She hugged the pad to her chest.  
Philip’s eyes shone with concern, but he backed off.

“You know I love you, right, Theodore?”

Theo’s eyes started prickling at the edges, and she nodded quickly, moving to untangle herself from Philip. “I’ll be right back-” Her voice caught in her throat as she rushed to leave before the tears started to fall.

“Wait, Theo-!” Philip called out after her, confused. Theo practically ran to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her, locking it. She pressed her hands to her mouth in an attempt to hush the sobs that she choked out.

Why had -he- overreacted like that?

Philip didn’t know. He couldn’t know.

Keep it together, Theo, he just said your name.

You’re fine. I’m fine.

Theo slid to the floor, squeezing her eyes shut.

I’m fine. It’s okay. He doesn’t know. He didn’t do it on purpose.

“Theo?” Philip’s voice came through the door as he knocked softly. Theo took a shaky breath, but didn’t respond.

‘It’s killing me not to tell you but-’ she mouthed, as if pretending to say it would make her feel better.

“Theo, please, let me in,” Philip pleaded from the other side of the door.

‘I’d rather bear being a boy so long as I didn’t risk losing you.’

“I’m fine Philip, just… just give me a second…’ She whispered, voice rough.

After a moment, she heard the sound of Philip padding away from the door, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She already had an excuse laid out: She had just been stressed out at school and she needed to let it out, it wasn’t a big deal. Surely that would put him off for a while, just-

“Theo?” This time, it was Eliza’s voice that interrupted Theo’s thoughts. She sniffled, drawing her knees into her chest.

“It’s alright, Philip isn’t out here with me. You can open the door, if you’d like.”

Almost immediately, the door flung open and Theo barreled into Eliza’s open arms, burying her face in the other woman’s shoulder. Eliza wrapped her arms around Theo, cooing to her in an attempt to comfort her.

“What’s wrong, baby girl?” Her voice was soft, lacking judgement.

Theo leaned back slightly and wiped the tears from her eyes, drying the ones that slid down her cheeks. “He called me Theodore. It’s dumb, and I should have expected it sooner or later, but it just hurt and I wanna tell him but I don’t want him to stop loving me. I don’t want to lose my best friend.” She was sobbing again and Eliza held her close, brushing her hair with her fingers.

“Theo, you know he’ll never stop being your best friend. Tell him when you’re ready, honey. The most he’ll feel is a little upset that he was the last one to know. But he won’t be mad at you baby girl. He’ll love you as much as, if not more than, everyone else. Just take your time darling. It’ll all work out.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks Aunt ‘Liza.” Theo threw her arms around Eliza. “I love you.”

Eliza returned the hug and pressed a kiss to Theo’s forehead. “I love you too.”

 

It was New Year’s Eve and they were walking side by side through Central Park, through the falling snow. The crisp snow blanketed the ground, hardened into ice after   
being walked over by so many times, crunching beneath their feet. Theo’s hair waved over her ears, draping past her shoulders. It was nearly 10:00 at night and they were making their way to Times Square. Their hands were freezing, fingers interlocked. They had both pushed away Eliza’s recommendation that they wear gloves, stating that they would be in Times Square. They’d be surrounded by bodies. They wouldn’t need gloves.

Theo was glad she had worn her scarf.

Times Square wasn’t much warmer than Central Park. There were bodies everywhere, but they were spread out just enough for the wind to weave through them. They moved through the sea of people and pushed their way to the middle of the festivities. People were dancing everywhere, drunkards were stumbling, and everything was   
overbearingly loud.

Philip wrapped his arms around Theo and held her flush against his chest, his arms pulling her close. She blushed, knowing how much she enjoyed being in his arms, much like a lover. Time seemed to fly as Theo swayed back and forth, Philip’s arms wrapped around her. Someone yelled “Thirty seconds to midnight!” People began smiling, watching the ball, waiting for it to finally light up.

Philip’s arms released Theo and entwined their fingers instead. Their eyes met for a moment before fixing their eyes on the shining ball above everyone’s heads. People began counting down from ten. The ball was slinking closer and closer to the bottom. Eight. Bodies packed close. Five. Theo’s hand gripped Philip’s tighter. The world seemed to slow down as Philip stared at Theo, Theo staring back. Three. It was just the two of them. Philip’s face moved closer to Theo. Two. Their lips pressed together. Theo’s eyes grew wide before she kissed Philip back, their lips molding together perfectly. One. Philip’s hand moved to the small of her back, pulling her closer. Happy New Year! Her hand wrapped in his hair as he dipped her back. Cheers sounded around them as he pulled her back up, his lips leaving hers.

Both of their faces shone red, partly from the cold, partly from the breathtaking kiss that been shared between them. Philip’s curls were scrunched up from her hand, but they both had a smile on their faces. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered, grabbing Theo’s hand and pulling her back towards Central Park. They ran the moment they got out of the crowd, their laughter filling the air.

Central Park was surprisingly quiet. The festivities could be heard in the distance, but few people could be seen in the park. Fireworks blasted overhead, and there were lights twinkling everywhere. Theo grabbed Philip and pulled him between trees, pressing her lips to his. The gesture was naturally reciprocated and the two of them kissed, just basking in the acknowledgment of their mutual affections for each other. When they broke apart, no words were shared. Their foreheads pressed against each other   
and they were so close to each other, it seemed as though no air could get between them.

“I knew you two were faggots for each other,” a familiarly sneering voice sounded from the trail beside them.

Philip and Theo couldn’t break the smiles on their faces or the eye contact that they shared. “George Eacker, you leave right now, and never bother us again, or I won’t hesitate to demolish your jaw. It’d be a shame since I heard it just finished healing.” He finally broke his eyesight with Theo before looking up. “Doesn’t look like it healed right did it, fuck face?”

George began to storm towards them, hands balled in fists. “I don’t know who you think you are, Hamilton, but-”

Pip leaned away from Theo and walks to George, getting into his face. Thank god for that growth spurt. He leaned closer to Eacker, talking quietly, but not whispering, in his ear. “You’ll leave me and Theo alone, and you’ll never bully another kid, or I’ll let everyone in NYC know that you’re a registered sex offender.” He stepped back. “And then I’ll break your fucking jaw.” With that, he smiled, turning away to grab Theo’s hand. “C'mon, Theo. Let’s go find some better company.”

Theo took Philip’s hands in hers and pulled him into another kiss, surprising Philip and making George curl in on himself in disgust at the sight, before Theo laughed and walked away, Philip trailing behind her.

“Damn Theo. That’s my best friend!” He cheered, laughing.

Theo’s smile wavered but Philip hardly noticed. Even after the kisses they had shared, the hand holding, the lasting hug in Times Square, she was still just the best friend.  
Philip gently stopped her before they walked out of the park. “I love you, Theo, you know that, right? I love you more than I probably should, but I do. I couldn’t think about spending my life with anyone else but you. You’re my soulmate, I know it. You have to be. I want you to be more than my best friend. I can’t deal with you only being my best friend, so will you be my boyfriend?”

Theo’s lip quivered, for multiple reasons. But she would rather be Philip’s ‘boyfriend’ than just his best friend any day. “Yeah,” she whispered, a tiny smile on her face. “I will.”


	7. Chapter 7

Theodosia looked at herself in the mirror. Her body was adorned in a pair of dress slacks and a royal blue dress shirt and a white bow tie. She sighed. It wasn’t what she wanted to wear to Philip’s birthday. Not even close. But what else could she do? He didn’t know yet.

A knock tapped on the dressing room door. “Theo, baby?” Eliza was outside. She had taken Theodosia shopping while Philip was out with Alexander and Aaron, doing gross   
boy stuff. Theo had been invited but luckily, Eliza had stepped in and brought up the fact that Theo had mentioned needing new dress clothes.

Theo opened the door and peeked out, shielding her body from Eliza’s gaze. “Yeah?”

“I’ve got something I want you to try on.” She reached behind her back and held out a blue dress.

Theo stepped out from behind the door and slowly reached for the dress. “For me? Can I really try it on?”

“Of course, sweetheart! I didn’t pick it out for me.” Eliza grinned as the dress was whisked from her hands and the dressing room door snapped shut. Eliza heard fast shuffling from behind the door and a gasp pushed through.

“Wow,” Theo breathed. She pushed open the door excitedly. “Look at me, Aunt ‘Liza!” She twirled in circles, the skirt floating around her. She laughed as the skirt flowed against her legs. “Look at me!” Her laughter twinkled through the air and her dark eyes were smiling. Her hair brushed against her shoulders as she whipped around to stare into a mirror.

The dress was the same bright blue as the dress shirt had been, a gorgeous contrast to her light caramel skin. Theo’s hands smoothed the skirt around her legs, a smile stretching her cheeks, one that hadn’t waned since she put the soft fabric on.

“You look gorgeous, Theodosia. Absolutely gorgeous.”

“Thank you Aunt ‘Liza. Can we get it? Oh please, can we?” Theo begged.

“Of course baby doll. We’ll get both outfits, okay? That way if you decide to wear the pants instead, we have them. Do you want any underwear? We can go look at bras and panties.” 

Somehow, Theodosia’s smile brightened. “Can we Aunt ‘Liza?” She began bouncing on her toes.

“Of course! What kind of lady doesn’t have cute underwear?” She asked winking.

“Did you know that I’ve started taking hormone pills? I started right after I told daddy, after momma...” It had been almost three months since she had died. “Do you think if I take off my tank top anyone will notice?”

Eliza laughed. “I guess we’ll wait and see baby. Go get out of that dress, toss both outfits in the cart, and we’ll see what we can accessorize with.”

Theo pushed into the dressing room, not wanting to take the dress off, but filled with giddiness at the prospect of finally going clothes shopping- for girl’s clothing. She was ready.

 

Theo passed Philip sitting on her living room couch and ran the shopping bags upstairs, hiding them in the closet. She could hear Philip moving up the stairs behind her and she latched the closet door just before Philip walked in, flopping himself on the bed.

“So whatdja get? Lemme see.”

“No!” She screeched, causing Philip to jerk back in surprise. “No,” she tried, laughing it off. “It’s a surprise for tomorrow. You’ll have to wait until your party.”

She stepped to the bed and sat down, immediately pulled into Philip’s body, his lips finding hers. “You always taste so sweet,” he murmured. “I love it.” Another soft kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you Pip. Are you excited for tomorrow?” She fell on the bed beside him, snuggling into his chest as his arms wrapped around her.

“Of course. It’ll be your name that adorns my chest for the rest of my life. Why wouldn’t I be excited about that?” He moved his body so he was hovering above Theo, his elbows braced to support his weight framing either side of her body. His knees pushed between her legs and he leaned down to kiss her.

Theo wrapped her arms around Philip’s neck. “Pip, what if-” she paused. “What if it’s not?” Or worse, she thought. What if it says Theodore?

“It’ll be you Theo, it’s always been you. It’ll always be you.” He pressed a kiss to the hollow of Theo’s neck, making her shudder as he continued kissing up her neck. “Let’s go sit on your chair,” he whispered against her ear, referring to the giant beanbag chair against the wall.

Theo nodded slightly and Philip pushed himself up and moved swiftly across the room, dropping himself on the mint green vinyl. Theo swayed over, her legs falling to either side of Philip’s lap, straddling him.

His hands fell to her hips, her body was starting to round out after having been on testosterone blocks and estrogen pills for almost three months. “You’ve been putting on weight,” he murmured. “I like it.”

Theodosia sighed in relief. She was relieved he hadn’t put two and two together. It was surprising that he hadn’t figured anything out, actually. She shook her head slightly, glad that he had noticed her changing body. “You like that?” she said softly as she rest her forehead against Philip’s.

“I do,” he countered. “I like it very much. There’s more of you to love.” He nuzzled his head into her chest, just above her budding breasts, flattened by the tight tank top beneath her t-shirt. “You look good. Healthy,” he said. “And you’re glowing. You’re gorgeous.” Theo blushed and angled Philip’s face to hers so she could kiss him.

The kissing soon got heated and Philip’s shirt was being yanked off over his head. Theo just loved to feel the smooth ridges of his chest. It was obvious that he worked out.   
The muscles were strong beneath his skin and Theo roamed her hands over the tight sinew of his body.

Their teeth clashed together excitedly and Theo pulled back laughing, pulling Philip backward so he was above her on the floor. “I love you Pip.”

“I love you too Theo. I love you so much.” His mouth pressed against hers again and his hips bucked against hers.

“Philip!” She admonished, the stern reprimand coming out as more of a moan.

“Problem?” There was a smug grin on his face as he looked down at her and rolled his hips once more.

“You’re too cocky for your own good,” she mumbled to herself before catching him off guard and pushing him off her. She straddled him and sat on his waist line, her hands pinning his wrists to the floor. She giggled and Philip’s eyes grew wide.

“Can you not giggle like that again?” It was Theo’s turn to grow wide eyed. Had it been too feminine…? “That went straight to my dick. God that was hot.”

Theo laughed and launched herself off Philip, falling back into the beanbag chair once more. “You’re disgusting,” she teased.

He held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, it’s your fault. You did it to me. I can’t help it that you turn me on.”

Theo blushed at his words and glanced at the alarm clock on her dresser. “It’s almost bedtime, huh?” She stood up and grabbed her pajamas and disappeared into the bathroom.

“Hey Theo? How come you don’t change yourself out here with me anymore?” She could hear him wrestling with his jeans. He always just slept in boxers.

“Uh,” she stuttered. “I’m just self conscious of my body, I guess.” It wasn’t a complete lie. She pulled her pj shirt on over her head and shucked her pants to the floor, stepping out of them and tossing them in the hamper. The door swung open behind her and Philip stood in the doorway, causing her to scream. “Philip, get out!”

He stepped in and pulled her into his arms, his hands wandering down her back to cup her ass. “Self conscious baby? You’ve got nothing to be self conscious about. You’re gorgeous.” He squeezed Theo’s ass that was cupped in his hands and Theo jumped closer, her body pressing against Philip. “Do you feel what you do to me, Theo? You’ve had this effect on me for years, and you gaining a little bit of weight isn’t gonna turn me away. Sorry baby, but you’re stuck with me.”

“Can we just go to bed Pip? It’s been a long day.”

“Of course. Wrap your legs around my waist.” Theo looked at the plaid pajama pants in her hands. “You don’t need pants baby. You always slept in just a t-shirt before. Just come sleep with me,” he whined. Theo tossed the pants to the floor and jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Do you trust me to love you forever and always?”

Theo paused. The silence was deafening to Philip’s ears. “I do,” she whispered. They slept wrapped up in each other’s arms all night long.

 

Theo woke up the next morning and Philip was sitting on the beanbag against the wall, sleeping with his chin tucked to his chest. She slipped out of bed and straddled her sleeping boyfriend. “Baby, wake up,” she whispered sweetly, kissing his neck. “Happy birthday, Pip, my love.”

His eyes fluttered open sleepily. “Thanks babe,” he whispered, kissing her lips.

“Pip, why’re you not in the bed?” Theo murmured, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

The memory of Philip sitting up in bed, tracing the faint name that appeared on his body. He had gotten up, nearly tripping to get to the bathroom to see it. He wasn’t sure if he had felt more of a surprise or a sickened twist in his gut when it didn’t say Theodore.

It was Theodosia.

He slipped back into her room, quickly finding a shirt and pulling it on, too tired to mull over why he had his best friend’s mom’s name tattooed on his skin.

Instead of falling back into bed to cuddle with her, he sat on the beanbag chair, rubbing his eyes. He tried to rationalize the situation, maybe this was a dream? Had he imagined it?

Pip felt the edges of his eyes prickling with tears. “You sprawled out on the bed when I got cold and got up to put my shirt on. I didn’t want to move you.”

Theo sat up, tugging at his shirt, trying to hide her anxiety. “Is it there…?” She mumbled. Pip quickly pulled the neck of the shirt up a bit, shaking his head.

“Um, I don’t want you to see it yet,” He said. “It’s like, bad luck. You gotta wait.”

“Pip, you’ve never been superstitious, lemme see it,” Theo insisted.

“No, Theo, please-” But Philip couldn’t keep her from tugging at the shirt. He panicked, shoving away her hands skittishly.

“Pip….” Theo protested, but stopped trying once she saw how hard he was trying to keep it hidden.

“I just wanna show everyone all at once, okay baby?”

Theo nodded slowly, looking away from him. “Yeah, yeah. Okay,” she trailed off, dejectedly.

Pip cupped her chin. “Hey, look at me,” He whispered. Once he got her attention, he kissed her for a moment before barely breaking away, pressing his forehead against hers.

“Just wait, okay? I love you, it’s nothing to be worried about.” He tried to reassure her.

“Okay,” she whispered. “You always did like the spotlight.” She smiled, but it was a sad, forced smile. “I’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Philip couldn’t shake the hollow feeling of dread that settled in his chest at her words.

“Happy birthday Philip!” Eliza wrapped her arms around him tightly, smiling. Alexander squeezed his shoulder, also sporting a wide grin.

“How’s it feel to be 16, Pip?” He asked.

Pip shrugged. “I feel the same, I guess.” He said, but grinned back in a joking manner. No one seemed to catch his antsiness, especially since he could feel the tension between him and theo.

Within the next ten minutes, six different people asked him how he felt. “Not much different than fifteen,” he mouthed off. It had become his standard answer.

“You ready for cake and ice cream, Pippy Longstockings?” John Laurens sauntered over and tossed his arm over Pip’s shoulders.

“Uncle John, Theo braided my hair once. We were six. Can’t you stop calling me that? It’s been ten years.”

“Hmm,” John mused. “Don’t think so, Pippy. Now let’s go get some cake.”

Overall, the party was actually pretty fun. It wasn’t till it had come time to open presents that Philip began to shift nervously in his seat. He was surprised no one had asked him about the tattoo yet, but he knew it was coming soon.

“Hey, Philip,” Alexander appeared in the doorway, having disappeared a few minutes ago. Philip turned to look at him, and he held something up in his hands.

“Dad…?”

Alexander tossed something at him, and Pip caught it. It was a set of keys.

“Your mom and I weren’t sure if we could pull it off, but we got you a car.”

Pip jumped off the couch, running over to his father. “Are you serious!?” He ran out the door and launched himself toward the driveway, only to get an armload of snow shoved down the back of his shirt. “Holy fuck all!” John and Gilbert were laughing so hard they were crying as Philip jumped around, trying to get the icy snow out from his shirt. “Fuck!” He pushed past the throngs of people standing in the doorway laughing.

“C’mon, Philip. Let us all see the tattoo! Take your shirt off!”

That’s what this was about.

He rushed into the living room and stripped off his shirt, his body red from the sudden shock of the ice pellets that they called snow. He jumped around, shaking off the   
snow and turned around to see Theo, dressed up in her navy dress shirt and dress slacks, staring at his chest

“Theo, it’s not-” he stammered. “I don’t-”

Theo ran out of the room, tears streaming down her face as she pounded up the stairs to Philip’s room and locked the door behind her.

“Fuck you people!” Philip yelled as he ran up the stairs. “Fuck all of you!” He began pounding on his bedroom door. “Theo, please. I’ll always love you. I don’t want anyone else. Please.” His knocking on the door was constant, until his fist fell away, resigned. “Theo, please, I love you.”

Suddenly, the door unlocked and opened slowly. Theo stood in front of him, in a navy blue dress, the same color as her shirt had been, a silver bow wrapping her waist. Her hair was falling in waves kiss past her shoulders and she was wearing a pair of silver heels. Her body was shaking, from her heeled feet, to her lips, painted a gorgeous ruby red. Tears were still streaming down her face but she was laughing, a smile shining bright on her face.

“I’m Theodosia.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr, @the-starstruck-prince or @drabbles-of-a-cosmonaut !! Find Adri on tumblr at im-writing-out-of-time!! <3


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